HAVE NOTHING LEFT

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OVER HERE GOING THUR THE WORST PAIN IN MY LIFE BESIDES THE LOST OF MY GODSON JAYDEN! I WAS HAVING THE BEST SUNDAY EVER TILL THE SUN CAME UPON MONDAY MORNING! I WAS IN A LATE NIGHT TINYCHAT WITH MY SOME OF THE HOMIES WHEN MY MOTHER LIKE ALWAYS CAME RUNNING IN TRYING TO BE ALL IN MY SHIT LIKE ALWAYS! I SWEAR I HATE WAKING UP TO SEE AND HEAR HER MOUTH! SHE WENT AWAY BUT THEN 15 MINS LATER MY PHONE RANG! IT WAS MY AUNT FOR MY MOM ON MY PHONE! I WAS LIKE WHATS GOING ON? SHE YELLED LIKE THE GHETTO HOOD RAT SHE LOVES ACTING LIKE SO I WAS LIKE FUCK IT! GAVE MY MOMS THE PHONE AND WALKED AWAY. THEN 10 MINS AFTER MY MOTHERS DUMB ASS GOT OFF THE PHONE SHE COMES IN A ND SAYS "OH YEA BY THE WAY.....YOUR COUSIN IS HAVING THE BABY AND IM LEAVING IN A SECOND SO IF YOU WANNA GO LETS GO"! SO I GOT UP, RAN INTO MY ROOM AND RUSHED TO GET DRESSED KNOWING I HAVE ALMOST BEEN UP FOR 24HOURS DUE TO TINYCHAT CRACK! LOL!

GOT IN THE CAR AND GOT TO THE HOSPITAL AND SHE WAS FINE. HER WATER HAD JUST BROKE AND THAT WAS IT. IT WAS ALREADY HARD FOR ME TO BE AT THIS HOSPITAL BECAUSE THIS IS THE SAME HOSPITAL THAT I MISCARRIED MY DAUGHTER AT 5 AND 1/2 MONTHS IN. I WAS EMOTIONAL BUT I HELD IT BACK FOR MY COUSIN. I KNEW I HAD TO BE THERE FOR HER BECAUSE BETWEEN MY MOTHER WITH HER "I SWEAR I KNOW I EVERYTHING" ASS AND HER MOTHER WITH HER "I HATE THIS WHOLE THING I HOPE YOU GO THUR PAIN THE WHOLE TIME" ASS WAS NOT HELPIN SHIT! I WAS IN THE ROOM WATCHING HER GO THUR UPS AND DOWNS WHEN EVERYTHING WENT HORRIBLE!

SHE TURNED INTO A DOGGY STYLE POSITION AND THEN SHE WAS REALLY FEELING IT WHEN HER EYES GLAZED OVER AND THEN SHE PASSED OUT ON US. SHE WAS OUT COLD AND NOT WAKING UP! I FREAKED OUT AND CALLED THE NURSE AND EVEN WHEN THEY CAME IN SHE WASNT MOVING AND WAS NOT WAKING UP. THEY WORKED ON HER FOR A WHILE AND THEN SHE WOKE UP AS IF NOTHING WAS WRONG AND THEN COULDNT EVEN REMEMBER PASSING OUT. IT WAS THE SCARIEST THING I THINK IVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND I SERIOUSLY COULDNT HANDLE IT. I ALMOST PASSED OUT BUT I HAD TO MAKE SURE MY AUNT WAS OK BECAUSE SHE PASSED OUT BECAUSE MY COUSIN WAS HURT! AND THEN HERE COMES MY MOTHER WITH THE EXTRA INFO THAT NO ONE CARED ABOUT WHICH JUST MADE THE WHOLE THING WORST AND LONGER!

THEN MY COUSIN CAME AROUND AND STARTED FEELING BETTER UNTIL LATER ON WHEN SHE WENT FROM 7CM AND 10CM IN LIKE 15MINS! WHICH HAD TO FUCKIN HURT! I SERIOUSLY COULD NEVER GO THUR THAT PAIN EVER! THEN SHE WAS READY TO PUSH! WE GOT THE BABYDADDY, GODMOTHER AND MY DUMBASS MOTHER IN THE ROOM TO HELP HER AND WE WENT DOWN STAIRS. EVERYTHING WAS GOING GOOD AND AFTER ABOUT A HOUR OF PUSHING THEY GOT THE BIG HEAD BABY COME OUT LIKE IT WAS NOTHING AND HE WAS BORN. HEALTHY AND READY TO FLIRT! EVERYTHING WAS GOOD UNTIL MY DUMBASS MOTHER SAID HMMMM....LETS KICK OUT THE GODMOTHER AND BABYDADDY SO I CAN STAY! SMH! I CALLED THE ROOM AND YELLED AT MY MOTHER TO LEAVE THE FUCKIN ROOM AND THAT SHE DID!

EVERYTHING WAS GOOD BUT I WAS SOOOOO SLEEPY! SO I LAID DOWN OUTSIDE IN THE WAITING ROOM AND THEN WHEN I GOT UP EVERYONE WAS GETTING READY TO LEAVE AND YET MY MOTHER WAS NO WHERE TO BE FOUND! I CALLED FOR A HOUR ON EVERY BODIES PHONES AND THEN AFTER ALL THE TIME THE BITCH PICKS UP AND SAYS "OH MY BAD. IM UPSTAIRS HOLDING THE BABY." WELL THAT SMART U DUMB ASS BITCH. IM ALREADY SLEEPY, WORRIED, STRESSED, SAD, HAPPY AND EMOTIONAL AND NOW THIS BUT WANNA TAKE ALL NIGHT TO HURRY THE HELL UP! I WAS OUTSIDE IN THE COLD TRYING TO CALL EVERYONE AND THEN FINALLY MY MOTHER BRINGS HER ASS! I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING TO HER.I JUST STARTED WALKING TOWARDS THE CAR.

I GOT HOME AND THEN OUTTA NO WHERE MR.BLAH BLAH HIMSELF. CALLED MY PHONE. I STARTED TALKING TO HIM AND THE "WHERE THE HELL YOU BEEN/BEEN MISSING TOO?" HE WAS FIGHTING WITH ME BUT LIKE ALWAYS HE DIDNT CARE I WAS STRESSED OUT AND HAD NO SLEEP! HE JUST HAD TO BE RIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING SO AFTER FIGHTING AND SEEING THAT I WASNT GIVE UP THIS ASSHOLE JUST HUNG UP LIKE IT WAS NOTHING AND HASNT SAID OR TRIED TO CALL SINCE!

I SWEAR TODAY WAS THE WORST DAY EVER! I HAD TO WATCH MY BABY COUSIN GO THUR HELL/I HAD TO GO THUR EMOTIONAL HELL INNERLY, BEING LEFT DOWNSTAIRS BY MYSELF FOR A HOUR AND THEN I HAD TO DEAL WITH ASSHOLE NOT CARING LIKE ALWAYS! IM SERIOUSLY SO EMOTIONAL DONE! SERIOUSLY I NEVER WANT TO SEE TODAY AGAIN! I SERIOUSLY HAVE NOTHING LEFT!

THIS IS IT FOR NOW. I CANT REALLY SEE WELL. IM HELLA SLEEPY BUT TTYL!

LOVE AND ROCKETS,
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